Archive for the ‘Confidence’ Category

Yeah, but no: Why you shouldn’t get courting advice from a girl

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Posted 05 Oct 2011 — by Harry
Category Confidence, Dear Sis, How to, Provocative

This article could have been aptly named “How to make women feel wonderful while cementing yourself into the friend zone” – because all of the stuff suggested (read the whole thing!) is written by a a girl imagining what might work on women. She has never seduced a woman.

You're the perfect man. Any woman would be lucky to have you. Just not me.

She’s also rarely (if ever) been seduced in this way. Most of the time, she chose a guy she fancied and went after him (because that is exactly what he wanted her to think).

If you want to attract women, find a way to be comfortable, happy, outgoing (and funny!), and let her come to you. Make her think she’s made the effort and then she will value you.

The only things worth having are those which are hard to get.

The article starts:

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Speak up, be heard

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Posted 19 Apr 2011 — by Harry
Category Confidence, Speech

For any and all who are interested, I’m now offering workshops to develop your speech skills and general confidence.

The initial workshop is running at an introductory rate of £50, and will run from 10:00am until 4:30pm on Sunday the 8th May at the William IV in Kensal Green.

It’s be a fun, challenging and hilarious forum where participants can work on whatever they’d like – with a focus on making you heard, understood and admired.

Speak up poster

“We learn how people think from listening to them talk. If you want to be respected and treated as if your thoughts are valuable, you must speak them as if they’re worth listening to.

It’s all about learning to speak from your core, harnessing the power of your body to create the impression of a real, fully formed human with valuable, fully formed ideas.

It’s about commanding attention from people rather than demanding it; it’s about inspiring people, not lecturing them; it’s about having fun and trying things out until you find what works.”

If you’re interested, RSVP on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=164614260260040

Or LinkedIn: http://events.linkedin.com/Speech-confidence-workshop-Speak-up-be/pub/623380

But be quick, places are filling up fast!

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Can you learn confidence?

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Posted 20 Jan 2011 — by Harry
Category Confidence, How to, Raves

I’ve taken to calling what I do ‘Speech and Confidence Training’ – because when I said ‘voice coach’, people thought I taught people how to sing, and if anyone’s ever heard me sing they’d know that causes a few eyebrows to raise. But the new claim – that I train speech and confidence, also begs a few questions:

“Can you train confidence?”

Yes, I think you can. Well, actually, I don’t know if you can. I think I can.

Many people adhere to an established wisdom: Confidence is something that some people just have, and other people lack. That you can’t learn it any more than you can learn to have brown hair or to be taller.

Bollocks.

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How to talk so people listen

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Posted 04 Nov 2010 — by harry
Category Confidence, How to, Speech
Creepy cult dude

Come die with me

Now that you’ve mastered breathing slowly and deeply, into your stomach, teach yourself to speak from there, in a way that makes people believe you.

Many people speak from their throat, some from their chest, a few (annoying) people speak from their nose. The really compelling speakers talk from the gut. Read More

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Take a deep breath

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Posted 28 Oct 2010 — by harry
Category Confidence, NLP, Raves, Speech

I sometimes run a voice session and someone says ‘Nobody listens to me’ and I usually say ‘You’re right. Moving on…’

So  relax. Learn to breathe in a calming way that demands respect…

And as you relax...

Some people think that ideas should be weighed based on their merit, just as there are people who think that we should judge people on their personality rather than their looks.

Well that’s a wonderful thing to believe if you’re softly spoken, poorly dressed and shockingly obese, but sadly it’s just not true.

If you’ve got a good personality, then parade it in a way that says: ‘I’m worth talking to.’ If you’ve got good ideas, speak them in a way that says ‘I’m worth listening to’.

You don’t always need to be loud, that’s just annoying. It’s about having the range of behaviour to match the situation, acheive your results. When you’re with your beloved you don’t scream sweet nothings in their ear, and when you’re in a club don’t mumble like a muppet.

If you’re going to present your ideas to an audience – when you have a nervous war of gasses going on in your belly that makes you want to do a poo right before your presentation, that’s when you need to take control of your physiology and assert yourself. If you can’t control your own inner state, how are you going to affect theirs? Read More

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You are an amazing organism

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Posted 26 Oct 2010 — by harry
Category Confidence, Raves

You are.

Trillions of forms of thing have existed. Strange things, feathered things. Slimy things that make funny noises; scary things and small things. There’s been trees and moss, and creatures to nom them.

You are literally the dust of a million exploded stars.

For you to be there right now, so many things have happened in their perfect sequence just the way they were always going to, so many variables, events of chance, ideas, flirtations, kisses and Cadillac’s have happened in a special order…

How did we get here, to this point, rather than to another?

Perhaps a stupid question. But I still want to know.

Within our own world we are becoming rapidly more aware of how truly clueless we are. Have you heard of quarks? Strange quarks, up quarks and down quarks? What preceded the big bang? Why do platypus deserve poisonous spurs? If our sole purpose is to procreate, why is it so hard to find someone to root?

I dunno.

But it’s bloody fortunate that you’re here. It’s bloody fortunate that anything is here.

But you, specifically, your ability to read words, coupled with your desire to do so. That’s pretty clever. You read other people’s opinions, and consider them, even if you don’t agree with them. That’s commendable, many radicals are crippled by their inability to do that. Well done – you’re obviously a very talented person.

What do you want from the world? Really. Take a moment now.

Do you also want to know that it’s all going to be okay?

Well – it might be. You have a good chance to make that happen. Use your talents to have an impact on something. Save a species. Be nice to someone. Have sex with them. Eat a cabbage.

It’s incredibly strange that we’re here at all; you might as well enjoy it!

The Self Confidence Con

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Posted 24 Aug 2010 — by Harry
Category Confidence, How to, Speech

I wrote this for PickTheBrain.com

There is a funny concept among the softly-spoken, the meek, the apologetic excuse-makers that there is some ‘kind’ of person who is confident, capable and calm in the face of adversity. The have-nots usually disempower themselves further by making an assumption that confidence is like a genetic trait, written into the DNA of some, and left out of the chromosomes of another. It’s not, it’s a lie.

Confidence is a con – it’s a lie to yourself that you can be whatever you want to be. The trick is that confident people have mastered the ability of self-delusion, and once deluded, the lie becomes real – for being confident is simply imagining yourself as already confident. That will spread a perception among others, who will react to your new-found power as if it’s you, which will reinforce your behavior and presto-change-o, you are one of the confident people.

One cannot imagine oneself taller, and no matter what ‘The Secret’ tells you – you cannot imagine yourself a new sports car, but you can imagine yourself being confident and become it, immediately. Read More