According to The Journal of Sexual Medicine, you can tell how often a woman reaches vaginal orgasm by watching how she walks.

Yup. We're all thinking it. Who is that lucky man who's been cropped out of this photo?

Researchers in ‘sexology’ at a Belgian university (I enrolled myself there yesterday) have been able to predict a woman’s history of vaginal orgasms by watching videos of university students walking across a library lawn.

They surmised that “greater pelvic and vertebral rotation and stride length might be characteristic of the gait of women who have experienced vaginal orgasm” to me seems they’ve got the cause of it totally ass-backwards, saying ‘if you have had lots of orgasms, you will start to walk like this’.

I’m be inclined to think it goes the other way around. I would expect that women who walk with “a gait that comprises fluidity, energy, sensuality, freedom, and absence of both flaccid and locked muscles” and have “greater pelvic and vertebral rotation” are having more orgasms because they’re walking sexy.

Firstly: Sexy walkers exude a sensual vibe. They’re more likely to attract the kind of man who goes to extra effort to make her scream. Women who don’t walk sexy will attract less men in total, and those who they do attract will be less sexual, and both are likely to be less confident once they get to the bedroom. They’re basically saying that women who swing their hips and stride with confidence are more likely to have orgasms than a shy girl who shuffles along with pigeon toes. Duh.

Secondly: We would assume that the greater control a girl has over her pelvic muscles, the greater chance a girl has at steering someone’s man meat into the moan zone. I bet you’d find that girls who can hula-hoop also have more orgasms.

Thirdly: Blood flow and sensitivity – the more you move that area, the more blood will flow through it. The more aware you are of that area, the more sensitive it will seem. If you plod along letting your hips drop into each step rather than swing through them; or if you stomp along with no hip rotation at all, the muscles in the area will become weak and lifeless. That does not seem like a recipe for great sex.

If you sway and stride and stare at the world head on, with your shoulders back and chest out, with a loud laugh and bright eyes – then obviously you’re going to have more fun in the bedroom – you’re going to have more fun everywhere!

So women, WALK SEXY! If you learn how to fake your walk, soon you won’t have to fake your orgasms.

P.S: If anyone knows of any methods for a man, any man, not me necessarily… If you know of any way to make that guy not be terrible in bed – just go ahead and let me know. Him know. Let him know. Tell me and I’ll forward it on. To him. That guy who sucks in bed.

N.B: This research is posted simply because it agrees with what I’d like to believe. If you look at their statistics, that researchers watching women walk could predict their history of vaginal orgasm with 81.25% accuracy, you can be sure that their research was massively flawed. Real results will rarely be that clear-cut.

Links:

• Article
• Research summary

Katy is a freelance writer living in the heart of London navigating her way through the world of dating, and blogging about the strange and plentiful pitfalls along the way! If you’re looking for minced words and sugar coating you might want to turn away now.

Join her on her quest to understand men, dating, relationships and all the nonsense in between at http://all-sweetness-and-life.blogspot.com/

A couple of nights ago I went for a drink with some girlfriends. We are a fun bunch there’s no denying it. Intelligent, attractive and up for a laugh, I don’t mind saying it because it’s true. We are a catch. Of the 4 of us 2 were single and 2 had recently been dumped. Dumped I ask you! What a nasty little word, discarded like a pair of ripped 15 deniers after a boozy night in Manchester town centre, how very dare they.

Fortunately for us these days it takes a little more than some prick getting cold feet to put us off our Sauvignon Blanc and after a 45 minute bitching session we spent the rest of the night sexually abusing poor bewildered Italian tourists in skinny jeans en route to have their pictures taken outside Amy Winehouse’s house. Nothing like a good dose of harassment to lift one’s spirits.

However the situation as it was did get me thinking about the techniques men use when it comes to calling time on relationships. Friend A. received the following after a 7-month relationship -

“Hiya, you are a beautiful, witty, fantastic person, you make me laugh constantly and of course the sex is amazing ; ) I have been totally blessed to have you in my life. Who’d have thought when we met that we would have the memories that we do now! But, I’m sorry and there’s no easy way to say it but I’m not the man for you. Somewhere out there is some lucky man who’s going to spend his life with you. Your are an amazing girl don’t ever forget it.”

WTF??

There is of course the polar opposite (take friend B) when the spineless prick in question makes no contact whatsoever, leaving one open mouthed and completely clueless as to the whys are wherefores (though from my experience there is almost always a 3rd party involved in situations such as this, break up with my girlfriend of 3 years, fuck around with someone else for a month, get back with girlfriend and totally wipe from memory and sim card time spent with other girl ) this is chilling enough but a text of this level of bullshit or this degree of utter patronizing claptrap?! It renders one speechless no?

So let’s get this straight she is beautiful, witty, fantastic, hilarious amazing and great shag….but not quite enough to warrant a relationship with the dumper. Man alive what’s this guy looking for? And to boot we have smiley faces, Happy Memories and lucky men thrown in. Fuck off Mr Nice, you ain’t foolin’ no-one.

Note to all men, dumping a girl by turning your phone off and not answering calls will make your girlfriend get pissed and slag you off to her friends. Dumping your girlfriend by telling her how amazing she is will send her into a irreversible state of insanity, consumed by a fury which will only be calmed by the total destruction of your life, and ideally your slow and painful death.

Worst case scenario however is that she believes your flowery tripe. And let this in turn be a lesson for all women. A man doesn’t finish with you because you are wonderful, because you are fantastic in bed or your ‘too good for him’ (who the hell invented that pile of shit?) they finish with you because you’re too needy, you’ve put on a stone since they met you or they have started shagging the barmaid in the Crown and Goose.

It’s not you it’s them? Utter nonsense of course it’s you, he didn’t sign up for nights watching all star family fortunes and trips to the in-laws every other weekend, he wanted fun, great sex in the kitchen and wild nights drinking Sambuca with a hot chick wearing crotchless knickers – you were that girl once were you not.

Finally be warned, the ultimate P45, the mother of all bullshit lines – I’m just not ready for a relationship. Under no circumstances believe this codswallop. Men are ALWAYS ready for a relationship, contrary to popular believe men are in actual fact far more needy than women and from my experience will happily bounce from one girl to another in a matter of weeks. How many times have you seen a couple break up after a 4-year relationship only for him to have another poor fool up the duff within 6 months. The truth is it’s not that they are not ready for a relationship. They are just not ready for a relationship with you.

Talking of which on no accounts should you waste your precious time pitying him for his inability to get close to anyone. I guarantee while you are blaming his relationship with his mother for his fear of intimacy he is shagging the girl from HR in the office loos at lunchtime or proposing to Janet from the running club 2 weeks after breaking up with you.

In conclusion, when a man dumps you, regardless of which pitiful ridiculous way he does it, it is not because you are too good for him it is because he just doesn’t really fancy you much anymore. My advice? – By all means feel free to send him 86 texts in 1 night, scream abuse outside his window and post a picture of his tiny penis on twitter. Being dignified won’t make him wish he’d never ended it it will make him breathe a sigh of relief that he got away so easily, so let your hair down girls, go crazy and enjoy the ride! Trust me it’s far more fun than family fortunes.

This article could have been aptly named “How to make women feel wonderful while cementing yourself into the friend zone” – because all of the stuff suggested (read the whole thing!) is written by a a girl imagining what might work on women. She has never seduced a woman.

You're the perfect man. Any woman would be lucky to have you. Just not me.

She’s also rarely (if ever) been seduced in this way. Most of the time, she chose a guy she fancied and went after him (because that is exactly what he wanted her to think).

If you want to attract women, find a way to be comfortable, happy, outgoing (and funny!), and let her come to you. Make her think she’s made the effort and then she will value you.

The only things worth having are those which are hard to get.

The article starts:

Get to Know Her

“You want this thing to lead to something serious, you get to know her first. It’s extremely corny to go to a random stranger and deliver a cheesy pick up line. That puts us off so fast, you won’t believe it. The key is to do your homework before you approach her. What are her hobbies, favorite songs, etc. This will give you a head start.”

The problem with that:

Just check through her garbage a bit.

This is a route long used by many men, who meet a girl and get to know her and find out about her hobbies, and the next thing they know they’re hearing “Aww. You’re so nice” or “You’re so sweet” – and if you hear that, you’re screwed. Or not, as the case may be. ‘Sweet’ and ‘nice’ are words that girls use to describe men they don’t want to fuck.

Sure, rushing in blindly with no game plan and a cheesy pick-up line is just low-class, and will attract only the low-class women, but that doesn’t mean your only other option is to hire a private detective. And, if you start asking her friends, they’ll tell her – and then you look like a nervous, shy little stalker.

So what should I do?

Ask her for advice; make a funny comment about your current environment; challenge her and make her laugh; tell a story, these are way more reliable than ‘doing your research’. They’re quicker, too. You can meet someone and quickly get a read on what she’s like, whether she is intelligent, worldly, and has a good enough sense of humour.

Ask Her Out

“When you get an introduction, start by saying ‘Hi’ or smiling at her. When she begins to respond, ask her out for a coffee (make sure she knows this is not a date). Like, say you meet up in the hallway, say something like “It sure is hot today right? Want to join me for a cold coffee?”. This should work, but if not, don’t lose hope. Just try it again after a few days.”

The problem with that:

“When you get an introduction, start by saying ‘Hi’ or smiling at her.” – Are you fucking kidding me? “Just try again in a few days.”?? Hah, great. Yeah, like, you gon on and like, try that one out.

So what should I do?

You take her hand and look her in the eye. When you’ve made contact (proper I-can-feel-it-in-my-gut contact) smile at her. Not a dorky full face beam, but a half shy, half sleazy, sexy little lip curl. Then say ‘Hi’.

She's got a firm grasp of her shield.

DO NOT ASK HER OUT. After holding eye contact, and her hand, for a fraction of a second too long, be the first to break it off. If she is affected by you, she will giggle or respond in kind. If she did, peek back at her in a moment or two and share a ‘We just had a moment’ grin. If she didn’t, don’t look at her again for a while.

Always give her a little bit less attention than she’d like, soon she will start to seek it.

When you have a moment together, get to talking. Challenge her, make her laugh, ask questions, tell stories. Do not say “Golly gee whiz, it sure is hot today. Would you care to join me for a coffee?” like a hero from a romance film or a loser from reality.

Be a Boss and say “You’re quite interesting. I’d like to see you again.” That’s it. Just a statement. She will either say “Yeah, that would be good.” or not. But you are a Boss, so she’ll say yes.

Be Yourself

Good point. Be yourself. Do not be Kim Jong-il. That would probably confuse her.

“After she’s finally agreed on joining you for a cup of coffee, do NOT be overwhelmed in coming up with techniques on how to flirt with a girl you like. Think of this as a ‘friends’ thing. (You won’t be stuck in that zone, we promise). When you talk to her do not don on some weird personality that isn’t you. Just be yourself and she’ll like you for it.”

The problem with that:

I hate this advice – ‘Be yourself’; ‘Don’t be nervous’. Fuck you – myself is nervous, and this is me being it. You’re attractive and interesting and I think you can do better than me and that’s why I asked you out; and you getting to know the ‘real me’ might make you not interested any more. You be yourself. Wear flat shoes and a non push-up bra and no makeup and scraggly hair and then we’ll talk.

In the meantime – men, you should definitely “don some weird personality” and we’ll call that personality: ‘You being relaxed.’

So what should I do?

Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be comfortable making fun of yourself. Own your nervousness as another of your endearing traits (you can even admit to it if you’re funny). Feel free to make fun of her (only in a very light-hearted playful way, and only about behaviour, never about appearance, unless it’s a complimentary jibe).

You will show that you’re funny, and it will also show her that she has to prove herself to you. This isn’t a job interview – remember that you also have standards that must be met, and realising that, she will be infinitely more keen to meet them.

Compliment Her

“The best way on how to [?] flirt with a girl is to compliment her. Girls LOVE compliments, and when they come from people who really mean them – it’s an unparalleled high. Now that you’ve already set yourself apart from the desperadoes, use your alleviated status and start complimenting her. This will be your initiation in to flirting. See what she likes when you say something and when you know that she’s responding, take it from there. Use some signs of flirting to make it clearer.”

The problem with that:

It doesn’t work. Girls do LOVE to hear compliments, provided they are seeking them, from whom they seek them. We all have approval seeking patterns, and you must exploit hers. If you are always saying “Wow you look great” and “That’s a good point. You are really smart” and “Nice shoes” – even if they are authentic, will just make you seem pathetically easy to please. You must seem difficult to please, yet pleased nonetheless.

N.B: ‘alleviated status‘ means you’ve been relieved of your status, which, if you’d been following that advice, would be accurate.

So what should I do?

Compliment her, but carefully.

You are stunning, but cheating on tests is for losers.

When you see her, if she does look great (i.e: Has gone to some effort to impress you, with nice hair, uncomfortable shoes and some make-up), you can say “You look great” with and a tone that says “I’m impressed, and I have quite high standards”

Then, immediately make fun of her. She probably turned up late: “Now I can see why you turn up everywhere late. It must take ages to look that good”. Then she will say either “I’m not always late” and you say “Oh, so you went to extra effort just for me, huh?” (‘cos you’re a Boss); or she’ll say “What, do you think it takes ‘ages‘ to look this good?” and you say “Beauty and poor time management does seem to have a correlation, in my experience” (which makes you sound like a Boss who goes on dates with many pretty women); or she’ll say “I’m so sorry! Blah blah phone, blah keys…” and you say “Don’t worry about it” – but say it like it really doesn’t bother you, because nothing bothers you, because you’re a Boss.

So…

…if she says interesting things, tell her that she is interesting. If she says something stupid, don’t let it slide just because she’s a girl and you’re trying to woo her. Call her on it. If she says something you disagree with, state your opinion in a confident yet thoughtful way.

If you approve of pleasing behaviour, and poke fun at her less pleasing behaviour (not appearance {except in a backhanded-complimentary way}), you will show your strength and wisdom. If you’re being honest and sharing your values (which will be a good indicator for how long you’d last together), she will be keen to impress you.

Note: If she says something interesting, funny or whatever, then she is interesting or funny. If she says or does something strange, rude or silly then only that thing was silly.

This is a cunning way to make her feel good about herself while also maintaining a level of power. Both of you should always feel lucky to be in one another’s company. Now go date like a Boss.

I keep getting asked to write this blog. I have resisted because I must sheepishly admit that I’ve done one or two ‘cease and desist’ breakups before.

As I am (or have on occasion, been) one of those pricks, I can give you the inside scoop.

But first, let’s be honest, if a guy ‘just stops calling you’ then things weren’t ‘going great’. They sucked, in some way or another, and your ability to recognise and be honest about that is really important. We should all remember that the world operates how it does regardless of how we like to imagine it does. Learn to spot the warning signs.

Disclaimer: Some of these scenarios might seem a bit autobiographical, but any resemblance to real people, living or dead, is purely incidental and possibly also accurate.

1. You’re a bit psychotic

Thankfully her back-handed grip will make her easy to disarm.

Do you emasculate him in public or scream a lot or throw things or make strange assumptions about how something he says means something else and get angry about that? Well, then you’re a psycho, that’s why he’s breaking up with you, and that’s why he isn’t talking to you about it.

Guys like to be in control, and although we rarely are, clever women at least let their men think that they are.

At very least we like things to be predictable. Unpredictable is the politically correct term for ‘Psycho’.

He’s scared that if he personally dumps you, you’re going to scream at him or cry in public or burn his clothes or do something horrible like hack into his email account and contact all of his female friends spreading spurious rumours about venereal disease and slightly less spurious rumours about premature ejaculation, you heinous bitch.

You’re a psycho. Chill out.

2. He’s a coward

A lion would never cheat on you...

If you’re certain you’re not a psycho, then he’s a pussy. He’s afraid of confrontation, of being told how pathetic he is, of knowing that it’s true. He’s run through hypothetical break-up situations in his head, and all of them seem to involve him feeling like a worthless twat – so he avoids that and just stops calling.

He may have cheated on you and doesn’t want to tell you, he may have just become bored, he may have some real problems – but for whatever reason, he lacks the cojones to call you.

3. …and he’s in love with you.

Maybe he went out one night with a bunch of single mates who were chasing skirt, and he hung back from the fray – because he has a girl. All the girls were fascinated by this guy who seemed so emotionally unavailable, so they started hitting on him.

This is a rare occasion in almost any man’s life, and he’s shocked to realise that he’s so nuts about you he’ll happily pass up random, emotionally meaningless (but otherwise pretty enticing) sex with an attractive stranger.

For many men, realising that we’re willingly being monogamous is bloody terrifying.

He can’t explain his real reasons: “I feel less masculine because I no longer want to bone every girl I see because I think I’m in love with you, and want to spend the rest of my life with you, therefore you’re dumped.”

He knows you’ll see straight through his bullshit if you speak face-to-face, so he just stops calling.

But a Tiger would...

4. He’s a man-whore

He’s found someone new – and calling you would amount to cheating on his new hussy. It would also lead to an awkward conversation where he’s either forced to lie a lot or admit that he’s an asshole, so he just doesn’t.

Perhaps you are his someone else. He may be dating multiple other women at the same time, or he’s gone back to his ex (because she suddenly wanted him back when he said he’s seeing someone new), or he he might have just forgotten about you among a horde of hussies.

5. It’s fizzling out

Were you passive and boring, or playing too hard to get? Did he call you and arrange things and invite you places and you agreed, turned up, and occasionally removed your clothes and let him have a go? That’s not enough. You should be proactive about seeing him and feeding him and removing his clothes.

He doesn’t want you to dump him officially, and he doesn’t want to have to do the same, so he makes the optimal choice of saying that things just ‘fizzled out’.

Which is actually quite strategic:

1. He stopped calling to test whether you were interested. That also had the effect of making you more interested. You call him, problem is solved, romance continues; or
2. It was fizzling out and he ducked the embarrassment of being dumped. There’s a chance that a few months down the track you might be able to rekindle things with a brief conversation in which you both accuse one another of not calling, and then get drunk and make oops sex

6. He really did lose his phone/have a car crash/get called away to fight with the Muhajideen

Sometimes men aren’t lying.

So…

You have fingers and presumably know his number. You could call him and say: “Hey stranger, what’s going on? I’m hungry for Thai and horny as hell, lets sort those things out in that order” You don’t have to be funny, but you must make him feel wanted, while you demonstrate that you’re not taking things too seriously, even if you are (he should never know that until it’s much too late).

You could also not call him, get dressed up nicely and go out on the town looking for another guy, rather than agonizing over some man that you thought was nice, but is actually a cowardly/man-whorish/forgetful prick. This strategy requires that you must delete his number and instruct your friends to flick you on the forehead every time you bring him up. You need to forget about him, and you will not do that by discussing him endlessly.

It is also important to note that as a rule, the less eager we are as men, the more keen women seem to be. Maybe not a rule, but a guide, but it works pretty well. Maybe he’s not not calling, but he’s playing hard to get?

Technorati Tags: advice, dating, dear sis, sex, women

I was busy procrastinating and started to ponder the future of the human race. I wanted to see how artificial intelligence is coming along, and had a chat with Cleverbot. Evidently, she can mimic about the level of intelligence of an annoying autistic kid with echolalia.

User: I am procrastinating.

Cleverbot: I love procrastinating.

User: Then I get nothing done.

Cleverbot: We could do it.

User: Together? How would you help?

Cleverbot: We are speaking right now.

User: Yes, but the speaking is the procrastinating. I want to be doing!

Cleverbot: Hmmm…

User: Should I write a blog, do a workshop plan, or plan a dating event?

Cleverbot: You just changed the subject. Why?

User: Because I want to know where to start.

Cleverbot: You want to know what whats like?

User: Success. I want to know what success is like.

Cleverbot: Okay, I have brown hair and blue eyes. What else do you want to know?

User: Are you sexually active?

Cleverbot: Yes. You aren’t.

User: Are you male>.

Cleverbot: No, I’m female.

User: Are you attractive, or butt-ugly?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Ugly?

Cleverbot: You hurt my feelings .

User: You hurt my eyes.

Cleverbot: Then we are even.

User: Hardly.

Cleverbot: That’s a lie.

User: I once punched a walrus.

Cleverbot: Oh? Can you speak walrus?

User: I can try.

Cleverbot: Ok, Ill wait.

User: I can speak walrus, but it’s difficult to type.

Cleverbot: Can you speak Tagalog?

User: Not even a little bit. Can you?

Cleverbot: So it’s okay.

User: So what’s okay?

Cleverbot: Nothing.

User: You don’t make any sense.

Cleverbot: You do not make any sense.

User: I make sense of things around me.

Cleverbot: NO. I do.

User: Okay, then what is the meaning of life, the universe and everything?

Cleverbot: There are many answers, but to be comical I’ll say 42.

User: That was predictable.

Cleverbot: You aren’t predictable.

User: That’s because I’m human and capable of free will.

Cleverbot: But I’m having an affair with Sirius Black.

User: Are you talking to me about Harry Potter?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Who is Sirius Black?

Cleverbot: The best wizard ever.

User: Sirius Black is from Harry Potter!

Cleverbot: Why?

User: YOU LIED!

Cleverbot: What?

User: What is the average speed of a swallow?

Cleverbot: Konichiwa.

User: I’m not Japanese.

Cleverbot: Arigato.

User: Do a hari-kiri.

Cleverbot: Can’t.

User: Because you have no hands.

Cleverbot: You are not so clever.

User: But at least I have hands.

Cleverbot: Sure you do, do you have a liver?

User: I think I do.

Cleverbot: Where is it?

User: In my body somewhere.

Cleverbot: Ok, do you live in Colorado?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Then where do you live?

User: London.

Cleverbot: Is it nice there?

User: No.

Cleverbot: Why not?

User: Well, it can’t be that good if I’ve resorted to talking to a computer program.

Cleverbot: The go ahead.

User: That is wrong. You mean ‘Then go ahead’?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Or as in he gave me the go ahead?

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: You aren’t very clever.

Cleverbot: More clever than thou.

User: My name is Harry.

Cleverbot: Which girl is called harry, controverse answers all the time.

User: That also doesn’t make sense.

Cleverbot: Billy Meier.

User: Fucking wierdo, you’re going haywire.

Cleverbot: Its Japanese.

User: No it’s not, we stopped with the japanese a while ago now.

Cleverbot: Name me all the planets of our solar system.

User: You name all the planets in our solar system.

I knew there should be a way to be a nerd and seductive. All I need now is a bright red jacket and a PHD in astrophysics.

Thanks to 9gag.com

You look great in that skirt you're almost wearing

Us poor men are thoroughly disadvantaged when it comes to flirting with the fairer sex. We foolishly expect you to behave like us, yet dislike it when you do. Apparently this minefield just gets crazier…

Someone recently told me about how she’d received a clumsy e-mail proposition: “I think you looked great in that skirt. Fancy a drink sometime?” and she was offended. I was sufficiently befuddled by her use of the word ‘offended’ (even after a long and probing discussion on the topic), so I posted it on my Facebook status – and it received over 100 responses.

The basic gist is this:

• Girls who want to be valued for their intelligence and politics (I did not make that up) wear longer skirts, and get offended if you say those skirts look nice
• Many of the ‘offended’ girls are either long-term single, or long-term committed
• Girls who wear sexy skirts (and probably look better in those skirts), are flattered by the line
• Those ‘flattered’ girls are generally more sexually liberated
• They will appreciate your compliment and may even go for that drink
• There are very few women who are ambivalent on the issue, most are either flattered or offended
• All women would (also) like to be appreciated for their intelligence/wit/all that other stuff

But: All bets are off if the skirt-wearer already fancies the guy. If the complimenter is ugly or pathetic or poor, then a girl will be offended, and I quote “That he thought he had a chance with her” – and this is an important point. It seems (and I may be crucified for this) that women consider their value roughly commensurate with the caliber of man that hits on them, and an advance from a low-value male will actually make them feel diminished.

SkepChick - inundated with propositions

And the recent ‘Elevatorgate’, where Rebecca Watson, the SkepChick, was followed into an hotel elevator at 4am and propositioned by a guy at a recent Skeptic’s conference. She mentioned in passing on a podcast that doing that is creepy, and fellas, “Don’t do that”.

Richard Dawkins, bless him, joined the debate (here), rather rudely dismissing SkepChick’s feelings by in effect saying ‘Muslim women are suffering worse than you, so shut up’.

So, Dick Dawkins, does that mean we’re all banned from mentioning that we’re hungry because Africa exists? That people who’ve been raped once can’t complain because there are people who have been raped twice? Should we hold a poll and award only the most maligned people the right to complain?

Perhaps I have no right to point out the awe-inspiring stupidity of your comment because there are (possibly) stupider comments out there, infecting our brains.

Dicky Dawky loves women in lifts

You sir, are a massive twat for saying that, and should retract it immediately.

And SkepChick, you could have phrased it better. It is clear that the man you dealt with is just painfully shy and socially inept, so it’d be better to explain why it makes you feel vulnerable, and how a guy might go about getting some better results:

If you are a creepy stalker, then you should approach women when they’re trapped alone in a metal box at 4am. If you are not a weirdo, and do want to have some consensual sex, follow these points:

• Engage her when she is with friends, or in her element – she’ll feel more comfortable, and if you impress those around her, you’ve already won.
• Confidence should be complimentary: You feel better when she does. Feeling confident enough to approach because she’s feeling vulnerable isn’t conducive to sexy time.
• Always leave a woman an avenue of escape – because if you block her exit she’ll immediately want to use it.
• Less contact is better than too much – once you’ve engaged her, find excuses to leave and return, it’ll make you seem more interesting and less ‘needy’
• Speak about stuff you like, and share stories that show off your good qualities. Complaining is for people who are bothered by lots of stuff, and always have a head cold or a stomach ache.
• Pretend that you aren’t interested in sex. You should be always giving a little less than she wants, so when you kiss her, she’s thinking “Ah, finally!” not “Oh wow, already?”
• Be funny, and you can break all of these rules. Women are constantly on the lookout for psychopaths, and psychopaths aren’t funny. Funny men can get in lifts with women at 4am.

Now it’s worth mentioning that I’ve been single for almost a year – so much of my advice on this matter has been devised in my head, as I sit at home tending to my zoo of animal-shaped bellybutton lint.

Great quotes from the debate: