You are reading a blog.
You could be wondering whether it will be interesting.
You are wondering what the ‘yes set’ is, and how it could be useful to you.
You are curious about NLP.
A powerfully persuasive technique is the ‘yes’ principle.
Effective influencers are great at asking questions that evoke a patterned ‘yes’ reply, because when someone offers an affirmative response repeatedly, they become far more likely to follow subsequent instructions.
Neuro-Linguistic Programming is often the subject of heated debate between believers, critics and crazies. Much like every conversation on the ‘net, it usually disintegrates into screaming insults and ad hominem attacks, which is great fun to read, so let’s get another one started.
Cogs are turning: Did he take too much off the back?
“Neuro-Linguistic Programming n. a model of interpersonal communication chiefly concerned with the relationship between successful patterns of behaviour and the subjective experiences (esp. patterns of thought) underlying them; a system of alternative therapy based on this which seeks to educate people in self-awareness and effective communication, and to change their patterns of mental and emotional behaviour.” – [Oxford English Dictionary]
NLP could be described the application of the placebo effect. It involves doing whatever you can to make a person believe they’re going to change, and as such relies heavily upon your combined preconceptions. It uses some cunning quirks of language and exploits behavioural patterns to deepen a person’s responsiveness to suggestion. Really, it’s a model for learning. Read More
…Continued from this blog about learning of Provocative Therapy and meeting Frank Farrelly.
'Sound of Laughter' by Hersley (But it's a photo.)
So perhaps it was my upbringing, perhaps it’s mild sociopathy, but I developed a belief that emotions are choices. Just as many people choose to feel sad, worthless, or insignificant, you can choose to feel happy, competent, confident and clever.
Do you challenge that?
Have you ever felt really angry at someone and then realised that whatever had happened hadn’t been their fault? Noticed that talking about sad things makes you sad? Have you ever through force of will decided to be happy?
Perhaps not – maybe you’re just not very talented at controlling your own mind. There are some people that are victims to circumstance – perhaps you’re one of them. Read More
I recently met Frank Farrelly. He’s a brilliant and cranky old bastard that found success dealing with mental patients by treating them like humans and encouraging them to laugh at their problems.
He called it Provocative Therapy. I call it Provocative Style.
His style can be challenging – in one session he obliquely called one woman a black hole that sucked the fun out of the world around her, and in another ‘therapy session’ he repeatedly screamed “Shut the fuck up!” with his Wisconsin drawl.
Surprisingly – particularly after sharing those stories, he gets results. Read More
Dear Harry,
If a girl has bought a new pair of pants that she is really excited about, but you think they don’t look as great as she does, do you tell her that?”
- Sensitive
Well Sensitive, you pose an interesting question: Should I lie to a girl that has asked for my opinon? No. Do I? Occasionally – when I’m being cowardly.
There was this psychotherapist dude called Frank Farrelly who invented a thing he called Provocative Therapy. It’s bloody genius. It uses brutal honesty, humor and positive intent to empower people, give them perspective, and allow them to change.
The idea that you’re protecting someone’s feelings by lying to them is bogus. Be honest. You lie to make your own life easier. If someone close to you asks you questions and expects lies as answers, then they are all stuffed in the head and it’s your job to break that pattern. It’s not doing them any good.
What is it?
I find some interesting reactions when I mention that I’ve developed an avid fascination with NLP – which is the obfuscating abbreviation for the fascinating science that is Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
Some people say: “Oh you’re going to try to pick up chicks” to which I reply “Try?!”
No, I don’t use NLP to pick up chicks, but yes – that can be done. I just don’t need to, and don’t see the point. I do use NLP to get myself into a confident and engaged mood that makes me more attractive to women, but draw the line at using it ‘on’ them. Read More
G'day.
I'm a speech and confidence coach, and occasionally I'm a voice artist. I used to be a Bollywood actor in Mumbai, and before that I was a foetus.
I blog because I'm opinionated and enjoy writing. They include dating advice, tips on speech and confidence, or anything else that arouses my interest.
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