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This cybersphere is a world where you choose how you want to represent yourself. Your ‘avatar’ – no, I haven’t seen the film. But your ‘avatar’ is how you represent yourself on the ‘net.

Avatar is a Hindi word, which was the name for how gods chose to represent themselves on earth in a squishy and appendaged human-ish form. Sometimes they would descend from the heavans as a ‘hot 18/f/Syd – cum chat w me 4 sum cyber’ if the need struck them, and occasionally as a fully awesome ‘L337 noob pwner’ – because they have the choice.

You have the choice, and unless you have your privacy settings ludicrously high, anyone with fingers and a keyboard and a screen and eyes can see your choice of profile pic. A simple Google search (name, place) will find anyone. I can go through your friends list, through their friends list, and their friends list looking at profile pics. That is the most public part of your already rather public self – it is the most visual and memorable bit of you. So choose wisely, because:

YOU ARE BEING JUDGED

My Facebook profile pic

So this is how I choose to represent myself in cyberspace – why? Because I’m a wanker. Anyone who puts up photos from a professional portfolio is a wanker – even if (like me) they are an actor slash model (and not the other way around) and have professional excuses for such intense vanity.

It is blatantly obvious that without make-up, fancy lighting, a couple of thousand shots to choose from and a bit of retouching, I look goofy and awkward.

I appear to be on a rather destructive path to piss off everyone I know – so I’ve prefaced it with insulting myself, but to my mates who were kind enough to offer their profile pictures to be exemplars I have nothing but respect and gratitude. You guys are awesome!

So, what are your avatars saying about you?

This was inspired by Lolly’s list of ‘What people’s profile pics really mean‘

Photo	What you think it means	What everyone else thinks it means
Girl/Guy with alcohol	I am fun and bubbly and love to party with my friends.	I have a secret fear that without alcohol, I’m boring.
Guy with car/bike	I am successful and cool and own a vehicle, that should be reason enough to sleep with me	I am in debt and compensating for something.
Generic cartoon character	I am cute	…but fictional
Self-portrait or drawing	I am creative and talented, and would like you to notice that	…and depending on the quality of the drawing, possibly deserve your praise. In this case – yes.
But in this case...	I am not so talented.	…unless I really look like this. In which case: Pity me.
At a holiday location	I go to interesting places	…and rub it in people’s faces. (or courtesy of Dev) “I crave social admiration/status so try to achieve that [sic] by being flaunting my body that adheres to society’s concept of the ideal”
Pulling a face or doing something funny	I am whacky and hilarious and great fun to be around	…in small doses. I’m an attention whore.
Self-portrait of chest or boobs	I have great boobs/pecs/abs	…if you look at me from this angle in top-light.
Action sports that you actually regularly do	I am exciting and dangerous	…that makes my life more interesting than yours.
Pet	I bought an animal and choose to love it dearly	…because without it I would probably be quite lonely.
Motion/Focus blurred	I am elusive and abstract	…and ugly or partially blind.
Someone chopped out	This is how hot I am.	This is the best photo of me that I could find (or) I don’t like that person any more.
Someone not chopped out	Me and my friends are so close	…and I think I’m the hottest.
Slutty costume	I am sexy.	I want sex.
As a couple	I love this person so much	…that I’ve forsaken any semblance of individuality.
Plush toy	I am cute and cuddly	…and completely devoid of human emotion. Rip me open and stuffing will come out.
Baby	I am so talented and wonderful, I made a baby!	Yeah, but some people have those things by accident…
Black and White	I am arty and classical and a little weird	…and everyone knows you look better in black and white.
No picture	I don’t know how to upload photos yet	…because I only came on here to stalk my children.

And don’t forget, one can always mix’n'match multiple definitions, here’s my mate Tok, who’s gone for a black and white with an artsy coloured effect on his alcoholic beverage (possibly while on holiday):

The Raging Tokko

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